Guy walks into a grocery store

A guy walks into a grocery store one day, and says to the grocer, "I need some cat food."

The grocer, an unpleasant man, says "Where's your cat?"

"It's at home!" says the man.

The grocer turns away and replies, "Then no cat food for you!"

Next day, same guy, same grocery store. He thought maybe the grocer was having a bad day before and decided to try again. He asks the grocer for some dog food.

"Where's your dog?" came the reply.

"He's at home!" says the guy, becoming upset.

"Well, get out of my store then, you get no dog food!" yells the grocer.

Next day, the guy walks in with a small brown paper bag. He puts it on the grocer's counter and says, "Put your hand in here and feel around."

So the grocer does, and looks confusingly at the man, asking, "What's that soft stuff in the bag?"

Smugly, the man replied: "I need some toilet paper!"